Resolution or Manifestation in 2022

Each year we keep wishing for something better.  I don’t know what 2022 holds but with its arrival I reflect on the practice of making resolutions.  Some of us set resolutions each year and are intentional about the goals that we create.  Others don’t bother with resolutions either because they do not believe in them or they set goals as a normal routine throughout the year.  No matter where you fall on the topic of resolutions, I prefer to focus on manifesting in 2022. 

What is the difference between making a resolution and manifesting your goals?  When we manifest, we set an intention and it is the energy within our manifestations that creates the outcome we desire.  We manifest all of the time through our expectations, thoughts and feelings.  Unfortunately, if we are not intentional we can be manifesting things we do not want or that are not for our benefit.  The power of intention is important; therefore, give serious thought to what you want to manifest and make sure your intentions are based on things you actually want to come true.  This is why practicing positivity is so important because our thoughts have vibrations like everything else in our universe.  The key to manifesting is getting into vibrational alignment with the things that you desire. 

Hop over to @drshawnblue to follow an 8 week manifestation challenge focusing on the 8 dimensions of wellness.  Then go to www.drshawnblue.com to see specially created products to support your manifestation goals.  Happy Manifesting!

CHOOSE KINDNESS.

We have witnessed a trend of people being ruder than what it seems like it has been before.  And each month it seems to get worse than the month before.  What seems inevitable from this increasing swell of rudeness and anger has resulted in an increase in violent acts.  Anxiety and displaced anger (and, of course) the pandemic have all been blamed for this building toxic energy.   What do we do, then, given the fact that we are not out of the pandemic yet?  I say, CHOOSE KINDNESS.  Sure, it takes more energy to invest and commit to utilizing or learning emotion regulation and stress management skills, but honestly it is imperative to our healing. 

Consider the following the next time you feel anxious, angry or have the urge to be rude:

Stop and take a moment.  Don’t make your bad day someone else’s bad day.  Take a deep breath and walk away if you cannot control your emotions or your behavior.

Take care of your needs.  Make sure you are sleeping well.  Sleep has been majorly impacted since the pandemic.  Sleep is essential to our effective functioning so make sure you consider ways to get better sleep. 

Manage your anxiety by creating a routine, institute better work boundaries, try engaging in more creative activities while confined to the home, start a mindfulness practice, journal about your feelings or see a mental health professional. 

And make a choice and choose to be kind.  In case you forget how to, here’s a sweatshirt and shirt to help you remember.  ;-) Available at www.drshawnblue.com

Self-Care as Suicide Prevention

On this last day of September, the month that recognizes Suicide Prevention Month, we must continue to focus on our self-care.  The stress of the last two years related to the pandemic, and the loss and grief and social injustice associated with the pandemic have left us all wounded and drained.  It’s important to consider the impact that these stressors are having on our emotional, physical and spiritual lives.  We need to reflect on whether we need additional resources and support to maintain health, despite the havoc that we are hit with on a daily basis. 

Increase your emotional self-care.  Consider interventions that will help you manage your emotions, such as yoga, mindfulness or journaling.  Make sure to balance these with distracting interventions, such as watching tv or reading.  Make sure you both lean into your emotions and balance them by also taking a break from your emotions. 

Focus on your physical health.  It’s always important to pay attention and potentially make improvements to your physical health.  Because of the negative impacts that stress has on our health we must consider how we are attempting to counteract these consequences.  Consider a new exercise regimen, planning out healthier meals or schedule in time for meal prepping (of course, check with your doctor first before starting anything new).

Get in touch with your spiritual self.  Prayer and spiritual intention can be very helpful in times of stress.  Engage in time to consider what you are grateful for and consider starting a gratitude practice.  Reflect on your existence and all of the things in your life that give you meaning. 

Evaluate your sleep.  Sleep is so important and we should observe whether we are getting enough sleep or too much or whether the sleep we are getting is productive sleep.  Talk it over with your doctor to find ways to improve your sleep and also to rule out any sleep conditions or sleeping patterns that are exacerbated by your mood and emotions.  Reflect on your sleep hygiene and consider using a mindfulness exercise to help you sleep better.

Consider using CAM interventions.  Complementary alternative medicines can be helpful in addition to your usual health regimen.  Consider activities like massage, acupuncture, energy work and the benefits they can add to your self-care efforts.

Socialize.  Re-evaluate your social circle.  Focus more energy on the relationships that bring you joy, the relationships that validate and celebrate you and that aren’t draining.  Being in unhealthy or non-affirming relationships can derail your attempts at being healthy and can actually do you more damage than good.  Consider making better boundaries in your work, family and friend relationships.  Although it can sometimes be difficult to establish a boundary, it will benefit you in the end by providing you with healthier relationships overall. 

Professional Help.  If you are experiencing stressors or mood symptoms that are affecting your functioning or are making you feel unsafe you should seriously consider utilizing treatments including psychotherapy, medication, support groups, and other therapeutic resources.  In an emergency (if you feel unsafe) you should go to your nearest emergency room for evaluation. 

Also consider using the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, a free 24 hours a day/7 days a week hotline for anyone in emotional distress.  (800) 273-8255

Self-Care Can’t Be Optional

We’ve heard the motto, “Self-Care Isn’t Selfish” and it isn’t.  Consider where we’ve adopted this mindset.  We live in a society that is based on individualism and productivity.  This way of living has its benefits but it doesn’t prioritize the values of community and team work nor does it leave space for healthy boundaries or provide permission for allowing self-care.  Culturally, we also have been forced to adapt to historical systems of racism that have redefined our conceptualizations of strength and the need for survival. 

August is wellness month and therefore a perfect time to reflect on our own personal definitions and practices of self-care.  Consider the following in creating or maintaining your commitment to self-care.

1.       Acknowledge what has defined our understanding of self-care.  Reflect on both societal and cultural messaging that impact our understanding.  Acknowledge how historical, generational and institutional forms of racism have influenced how we understand and define self-care. 

2.       Give yourself permission.  Allow yourself the permission to engage in self-care.  Regard it not as being selfish, lazy or a luxury.  But see it for what it is, not as optional, but mandatory.

3.       Understand the short term and long term impacts of not engaging in self-care.  Research shows us that stress can have negative consequences on our emotional and physical health if we do not engage in intentional practices of stress reduction.  Let’s not be willing participants in shortening our lives and becoming susceptible to illness and other health consequences.

4.       Recognize your own blocks to committing to self-care.  What gets in your way of committing to self-care? What do you need to let go of in order to embrace a life that prioritizes self-care?

5.       Be intentional.  Schedule in time for self-care and do not back out.  When the time arrives for your chosen self-care activity, do not prioritize anything over it.  Do not prioritize anything over you.  Value yourself enough to spend time taking care of yourself and your overall health. 

6.       Self-Care isn’t Optional.

Cautiously but Intentionally Moving Back Into the World

Summer is here and so exists a new energy to return back to some resemblance of normality and enjoying the life we once had.  Our challenge will be how we will accomplish this while also staying safe.  Instead of moving back into the world impulsively, take a moment to reflect on what your needs are for this summer.  What are the things that are important to you?  Is it returning to traveling, spending more time outdoors enjoying the better weather, or is it spending time with other family members and friends?  Reflect on what your priorities and needs are and what behaviors and actions will help you achieve your goals.  After you create your list consider how you can accomplish all of things on your list while also maintaining the best safety protocols for you and your family. 

While embracing the excitement that returning to our old worlds provide, I invite you not to forget all of the lessons learned during the pandemic.  Be reminded of all that you identified as important during that time and create ways to continue to value them with all of the opportunities that the new world brings.  Continue to carve out time for family and friends, self-care and health, and learning new things and expanding your skillset. 

Enjoy this new world, but do not forget what we learned in the world we are emerging from…

When Self-Care Really Isn't Selfish!

Women take on so many roles within society and are often unfairly expected to do so without a lot of assistance.  In addition to these multiple roles, the impact of historical systems of racism, discrimination and prejudice exacerbate the health of women of color.  A lack of boundary setting, difficulty saying no, a need to nurture and an obligation of putting others’ needs before one’s own also contribute to the health and wellness of women of color.  May is Women’s Health Month and provides an opportunity to focus on the self-care and health of women.

Woods-Giscombe (2010) describes a Superwoman Syndrome that acknowledges the accumulation of stress that African American women face which lead to disproportionately high rates of certain health conditions, including the following:

• cardiovascular disease

• autoimmune diseases

• obesity

• adverse birth outcomes

• untreated or mistreated psychological conditions

This finding highlights the need to encourage better coping strategies for women to manage stress.  During this month (and every day) consider the benefits of creating a routine of self-care:

Establish boundaries. Explore your relationships and consider where you can establish boundaries that will respect your needs.  Take steps to remove toxic relationships from your life. 

Say NO. Consider all of the obligations you have and participation in organizations and activities.  Think about whether you need to end or modify your participation.  Before saying yes to a request consider all of your other demands first and whether it makes sense to add another obligation that will take up your time and energy. 

Prioritize your own needs. Remember that self-care is NOT selfish.  Remember that in order to give to others we must also value and take care of ourselves. 

Incorporate stress management interventions.  If you do not already have a routine, consider adding in private time for yourself, massage or reiki, energy work, mindfulness, art, journaling, exercise.  Choose activities to replenish yourself.  The important message to remember is to protect time for yourself.

The Significance of March for Women's History Month

The specific month of March makes sense to honor the achievements, contributions and presence of women.  International Women’s Day takes place on March 8th and Title IX passed in March of 1972.  Women’s History Week which originated on March 8th was created to fill the void in our society to be able to recognize women’s history.  The week proved to be successful and in 1987, congress declared Women’s History Month a holiday.  National Women's History Alliance’s (NWHP) 2021 theme for Women’s History Month is Valiant Women of the Vote: Refusing to Be Silenced.  This year’s theme wishes to recognize that the “important roles of multicultural suffragists and voting rights activists continue to be recognized and honored.”  Furthermore, the NWHP refuses “to allow their voices to be silenced, even by a pandemic."

It is ever important for the voices of women to not be silenced, not just politically, but in every aspect.  There exists a historical practice of attempting to silence the voices and contributions of women which led to the women’s movement.  However, issues related to gender equality do not always take in account racial equity and equality.  When considering supporting the voices of women, we must address the voices of all women, including women of color. 

As we honor this month, let’s keep the following reminders in mind:

Women:

Value your own voice.  Many times we are invalidated by others.  Start by taking a moment to validate your voice and your experience. 

Take a seat at the table.  As a result of gender inequality, we always aren’t “given” a seat at the table.  Let’s change that by taking a seat at the table. 

Reward yourself for not allowing yourself to be silenced.  It can take a lot of courage and energy to get your voice heard.  Make sure you celebrate your efforts and your progress. 

Allies (Men and other women):

Value the voice of women.  Acknowledge and support others’ voices and experiences. 

Consider how much space you take up.  After engaging in self-exploration, give space to others to have a voice.

Take this month seriously and celebrate the many contributions and achievements of women in our lives and in our history. 

Resources:

Jean-Philippe, M. (February, 2021). Why Is Women's History Month in March? A quick lesson. Oprah Magazine. Retrieved from https://www.oprahmag.com/life/a26294031/womens-history-month/

National Women's History Alliance’s (NWHP) - https://nationalwomenshistoryalliance.org/

Reinvesting in Yourself Starts with Self-Care!

For the entire month of January I emphasized a theme of re-investing in yourself by utilizing a series of questions to challenge you to really engage in a full soul search.  This is an amazing time to choose to reinvest in yourself.  Out of all of the things the pandemic threw at us, one thing it forced us to do was slow down.  It forced us to have a clearer sense of the ills (i.e., disparities and racism to name a few) of our world.  We were busy and felt responsible (whether it was self-imposed or imposed by necessity) to take care of others.  The pandemic magnified a built in need for some of us to prioritize others’ needs above our own.  The 2021 theme of reinvesting in yourself is to explore this need and to encourage you to shift priority to yourself.    

Let me back up a moment and help you identify whether you need to reinvest in yourself.  Consider the following and if any of the following are true, I invite you to choose reinvesting in yourself as your goal for 2021:

• If anything has resonated within you.  Whether it is the sheer phrase of reinvesting in yourself.  Whether it is something written in this blog.  Or whether it was any of the questions of my January Instagram focus. 

• If you do not have a clear sense of your needs.

• If you prioritize others over you.

• If you have difficulty engaging in self-care or believe that you don’t need self-care.

• If you think it is selfish to focus on yourself.

• If you are giving to others throughout the day and do not have an intentional check in with yourself.

• You don’t have a strong connection with yourself.

• You have a hard time saying how you feel.

• If you are human (meaning all of us need to reinvest in ourselves :-) ).

Now that I have you thinking about the importance of reinvesting in yourself, the first step to doing it is investing in self-care.  What do you agree to commit to for the next month in the area of self-care?

Follow my self-care challenge @DrShawnBlue to find new ways to focus more on yourself!

A Reflection on 2020, A Welcome to 2021

Wow, 2020 was a year we never expected.  It was also a year that we will change us forever.  As we reflect on 2020 let us consider the many changes we experienced.

The pandemic of 2020…

Forced us to SLOW DOWN.  None of us would say that we wished that the pandemic of 2020 occurred.  However, the pandemic forced us to SLOW DOWN.  We live in a society that constantly has us moving, trying to fill as much as we can in a minute, hour, day and week.  We still live in constant FOMO, Fear of Missing Out.  We get caught up in the fantasy of “living our best lives.”  We struggle with allowing ourselves self-care because we prioritize being successful and productive.  The pandemic forced us to stop and reflect.  It forced us to see things we might have missed when things were busy, accessible and open.  We had to re-evaluate our spending habits, our diet and self-care practices, our relationships with spouses, significant others, romantic partners and with our friends and families. 

Reminded us how important connection is.  The pandemic forced us to not take connection with others for granted.  Social distancing guidelines and safety precautions made us think seriously about our behaviors that would affect the health of our loved ones.  But it is also reminded us of how we might take our loved ones for granted by not taking the time to engage when things are busy and hectic.  Missing physical touch such as a hug or a kiss on the check, reminded us how simple acts such as these are so powerful in managing and sustaining our relationships.  Switching to a virtual platform was not our ideal way to engage but allowed us to maintain connections during the past year.  We also learned creative ways to have fun in new ways of connecting with people.

Exposed us to a great deal of trauma.  We saw people of color being disproportionately impacted by COVID-19.  We witnessed multiple deaths and illness and had to process grief and loss in ways that did not allow us to utilize our typical ways of grieving.  We experienced political conflict in our governmental leadership but also within our families and friendships.  We endured the brutal deaths of Black people by law enforcement and experienced racial trauma.  We saw ourselves and loved ones have career, work and financial layoffs, furloughs and loss of small businesses.  We witnessed new levels of poverty, homelessness and hunger.

2020 will forever have an impact on us.  However, do not lose the benefits of 2020 and let go of the gifts that we received.  2020 has taken away enough from us.  Make sure to evaluate how to change your living going forward. 

• Remember to slow down and take time to engage in self-care and connect with others. 

• Prioritize connections with others.  Make time for those who are important to you. 

• Be more thoughtful, kind and empathic to others.  Maintain any generosity of 2020 and keep it going by paying it forward. 

• Get involved in enhancing race relations. Educate yourself and be an antiracist. 

• And take nothing for granted ever again.

Happy New Year! 

The Emotional Conflict of COVID-19

COVID-19 blew into our lives, it feels like out of nowhere.  It left in its wake feelings of helplessness and powerlessness, social distancing restrictions, financial consequences, hunger, loss and death.  However, possibly even more confusing is the emotional dilemma of the positive aspects that COVID-19 has created.  In the midst of so much uncertainty regarding our present and future, it can be important to focus on the opportunities that COVID-19 has provided. 

Much needed repose.  Most of us are bogged down with work, family, academics, home life and meetings.  Social distancing and quarantine have provided an opportunity for an externally imposed break.  So rarely do we have a break from the business of our lives.  We struggle with our own attempts to create self-care and stress management in our routines.  Although we still have many responsibilities and obligations during this time, we can embrace the flexibility that this time is giving us.  Take a moment to practice mindfulness or self-compassion.  Schedule in time to journal or work on a piece of art.  Spend more time with your family and friends.  Perfect a recipe or catch up on that book that you’ve been meaning to finish. 

A chance to give back.  Many individuals and companies have been impacted by social distancing.  Companies have tried to find creative ways to still remain profitable during this time but nonetheless are suffering financially.  Many non-salaried individuals are trying to figure out how to manage.  Children are benefiting from meal programs that provide meals that replace the school lunches that served as many of their sources of food for the day.  This provides an opportunity to give back to those who are being negatively impacted by COVID-19.  Consider donating to meal programs for families who cannot afford meals or purchasing meals from local restaurants using pickup or delivery.  Be creative and find a way that gives back during this universal time of suffering.

A reminder of what is important.  Take a moment during this chaotic period and search for the meaning of your life and universal existence.  Take an inventory of how you have been living your life and whether you are satisfied with what you present to the world.  Go beyond any accomplishments earned and really consider the core of who you are and whether you are happy with that person.  Take this time and use it for introspection and contemplation of what you prioritize in life and decide whether the people around you and the activities you engage in really reflect your purpose in life.  Ask the question if these people and things that you have prioritized thus far symbolize your meaning in this lifetime and your existence within this universe.  If your evaluation results in discrepancies, use this opportunity of time to consider how to pivot your life to better resemble the life you want to present to the world but most importantly to yourself